I remain to participate in my usual daily activities, many of which have some underlying "greater good"....or so I like to believe. But in the midst of living life day to day I have been losing sight of the true intentions. Living up to someone else's perceived "me" rather than my own version or in some cases horribly failing at my attempt to be that version that one desires. I'm torn between things I find great passions in, things I've simply never been well equipped to display at any remarkable level and wading through distractions that greets us all, each through different tempting venues in disguise.
That's not to say that my behavior is dishonest....simply not a full commitment as it should be.
I'm struggling with personal endeavors and things that can be deemed by some as obligations to others. I'm feeling surrounded by some sense of entitlement and disheartened by my inability to deliver such duties to satisfy them.
There are times of the day often wasted by me. I've attempted to fill them productively....writing, brainstorming, connecting and feel justified and established much of the time....but then, it just takes one persons perception to see that those realized intentions amount to nothing.
There is really no point to this entry. Just some thoughts to "paper." Hoping that in typing them I can find a solution and move forward with unwavering conviction that what I'm trying to do is something.
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